The Heart or Mind?
by xofallingxinxlovexo
Summary: a girl with sorrow? or love? read and find out Poems my first so send any comments plz!
1. Lie to Me

Never forget the little things in life that make you happy,

the card,

the guy,

the kiss,

cause one day you'll look back and realize

that it was those little things that made you able to love again,

to heal those wounds to the heart

I remember

The day

The day I met

… You

I thought you were amazing

Kind eyes wishing

Never knowing what to say

Wanting to be next to you

But then reality came crashing down on me

Our worlds weren't meant to mix

Never to come together

So I sit there and stare

Into the sorrow tinted mirror

Still wishing but always knowing

That my heart would tell me something

Something that hurt

Something I didn't want to hear

So instead I ask

Please,

Lie to me


	2. Rewrite Me

Walking into the old school

Doing nothing but thinking

Thinking about you

About us

I know

That we'll be nothing more

Nothing more than friends but

Still I think

I'm afraid to talk to you

Afraid of what you'd think of me

But even through that

I can imagine

Can't I?

If imagining,

Wishing,

For you is a sin,

Then let satin take me away

I would do anything to gain you

To gain your

… Love

I'm afraid of the word

'Love'

Constantly fearing yet always hoping

Is it possible?

Is it possible that maybe our history could rewrite its self

Rewrite the part where I fear your love

Rewrite the hurt yet the love that came with it

Just rewrite me


	3. Far from Perfect

In class again

Watching you

But although I want to steer my eyes away from you I find myself unable to

Exhausted

Physically and emotionally

No sleep I feel numb

Distant, in another world

I wish you could just read my mind  
that would make it easier for me to tell you the truth

It would make everything easier

But u don't even know i exist

Tired in this world

To close my eyes and rest forever doesn't sound like a bad idea

Maybe then will I find peace with myself

Maybe then will my fear fade

Fade and leave me in everlasting bliss

Sounds nice,

But only in a perfect world would that happen

And my world?

Well,

It's far from perfect


	4. Not Him

Faced with a problem

My boyfriend,

Yea he's great,

But…

There's something missing

So I'm faced with a challenge

Where do I go standing at a cross road

One is with you,

The other with him,

My intention is with him but,

Something keeps me hesitant

You

Nagging in the back of my mind you find a way to take control

Make me exhausted once more

So I come staggering into your arms

But he still has his arms around me,

Afraid to let go,

So I push away, wish I hadn't met you

I know you don't feel the same about me but,

Somehow the more I deny it,

The more I realize that I love you…

And not him


	5. No Further Emotions

You've accepted me into your life

As a friend,

Although it's not anything more,

At least I hold onto a part of you'

But part of me feels guilty,

He doesn't see it,

Doesn't know the truth,

I'm afraid to let min go though

Afraid that our friendship will fade

Fade along with our love

Maybe he'd hate me,

Or beg me to come back,

Either way I have to make up my mind soon,

But maybe holding on is good,

Maybe it's just a phase,

I know you don't like me

You've told me

You've given you heart to her,

You have no further emotions for me


	6. In my Dreams

I hadn't realized that I'd distanced myself from you and everyone else,

Not until you told me

Exchanging words in the now empty halls

Every word cutting me like a knife

Trying not to drown in your eyes I look at the old orange lockers

Maybe,

Maybe I can survive your smoldering eyes

It's a mystery

How could I have let this happen?

You still don't know though,

You think I only hold you dear as a friend,

But have you ever thought differently?

Perhaps I'll get over it,

Over every tear that fell from my eyes.

Over you

I want, yearn for you to realize it,

But,

Maybe, it's only a mere wish that I know won't come true

But when the song of our lives combines,

The piece is magnificent,

Only once will I ever hear it

Only in my dreams


	7. Your Heart

Tonight,

Tears fall in the darkness of my now foreign room,

Frustrated,

Tired,

I don't think I can keep this up,

Keeping these words to myself,

It seems like I'm racing the clock,

But,

The second hand always catches up to me,

My life is about to crumble but I hide it,

So no one notices how much I hurt

How much I'm suffering

The words in my journal screaming out

My secrets about you

But only I can hear them

The words in my journal,

My words,

Never reach your heart


	8. Save Me

It's hard

Being next to you,

Wanting you close to me,

I know it's wrong but still I can't let go

You're like a sickness,

Invading all of my senses,

And running darkly through my veins,

Becoming more a part of me each passing moment,

If there was any type of cure,

None was sought,

None was desired,

Instead , I submit to the fever and let it burn me alive

From the inside out,

I want to scream but I can't find my voice,

Help me,

I'm drowning in a pool of my emotions

Everything is dark here

Save me from this darkness

My darkness

Save me


	9. Just Me

Sometimes I feel as it I've fallen

But can't get on my feet again,

So I lay there and weep

Knowing no one can help me anymore

Not even me,

I've fallen to many times,

I've given up,

But you find a way to make me smile

Through the pain, and confusion

I try not to notice,

Notice how with each passing day I get closer to you,

So I stray,

Not wanting you,

Not wanting the pain,

That girl,

The one that stole your heart

I'm noting to you because of her,

I wish though

Wish I could be her

Her silk hair,

Her glass eyes,

Her flawless body,

But as I look in the mirror

All I see is nothing extravagant, nothing beautiful,

All I see is,

Just me


	10. Why?

It's as if you see right through me,

Like a thick glass wall between us

Making me invisible to you

Like I'm so close yet so far away

Here I am

Looking up at this big blue sky

Wondering if you'd ever see me

Wondering if you'd ever look at me the way you look at her,

But I get it,

She's better than me in every way

She's prettier than me,

She knows everyone,

But as she ignores you

Why can't you see that I was here?

I know she hurt you and I know that you want her back

But,

Still I ask,

Why?


	11. Wrong

In the morning,

I pull him over to the side,

I need to talk to him,

Break up with him,

As I tell him that not much has changed,

Part of me dies,

I don't want to hurt him,

But,

I know I had to do it,

He says that it's because of you,

I lie,

Tell him that it isn't,

I tell him that I think I need a break,

A break from my emotions,

He says he gets it but, somewhere deep inside,

I know,

I know he's dying,

I knew it was going to be hard but,

I never thought that I'd feel so numb,

But as he walks away my friend comes over to me,

'It's ok' she says

But is it?

Is it ok or…

Is this wrong?


	12. Notice Me

You talk about her again,

Say that you're getting close to her again,

I listen and tell you what I think you should do,

But,

In all reality,

I want to tell you,

To scream,

Out the words I've been holding in all these days,

To explain how much it hurts,

How much I want you to get close to me,

And how much I need you,

But,

You don't notice,

Don't notice how I feel,

Don't notice me


	13. Wish For You

I've done it,

I've given him up,

Up for you,

It was hard,

And now he won't even talk to me,

But,

At least I won't have to worry about being with someone I didn't love,

I mean,

It's for the best,

Right?

But,

If it was for the best, why do I feel this way?

Why do I feel sorrow?

Why do I feel regret?

But,

As much as I want to keep thinking,

Thinking if what I did was right,

You come crawling into my thoughts,

Laying in my room listening to slow songs,

I keep my mind on you,

Thinking of all we could be,

And,

11:11 comes,

And I wish,

Wish for you


	14. Don't Let Go

I hate this,

I've told my friend,

I know she can be trusted,

But,

Still,

Why do I feel so off,

So stuck in my shell,

Why?

Always thinking of things I can't explain,

Even though I want to understand part of me doesn't,

Doesn't want to find out the truth of our relationship,

Because in a way,

I already know how the outcome will affect me,

And I don't understand why I let myself get this far,

This far in love with you,

This far to let you become me,

Just,

Don't let go,

Don't let go of me


	15. Just Maybe

We talk on aim,

Say you're DJ-ing the valentines dance on the twelfth,

I say I don't know if I'm going to go,

But you say something I never would have expected,

You tell me that I should go,

My heart sinks deep inside my chest as I reply saying that I will,

It's amazing how I can go from having a horrible day at school

To,

A few of your words reaching my heart and squeezing hard,

Grabbing hold of me,

Can make me happy,

Can make me blush,

I say that I'll go and you send a smiley face,

I'm not sure,

But,

In a way,

I regret straying from you,

Regret the thought that threatened our friendship,

Or,

Possibly more,

Just maybe,

Just maybe


	16. Loving You

Dance is here,

I see you and sit along with you,

We talk for a while and you make me laugh,

I love being next to you,

And in this bliss,

I wish I could stay,

Loving you always,

But,

Things aren't what they seem,

Even though you are looking into my eyes now,

You have no feelings for me,

Like I want you to,

So I hang onto this one moment,

Still wishing that we could be together,

To be one,

But,

I'm 99.9% sure you don't love, or even like me,

But,

It's that .01% that keeps me hanging on,

Keeps me loving you

to the people that are reading this, I hope that you have enjoyed the poems. I'd just like to say that, these poems are based on my own emotions and the words come from my heart and my imagination. Well keep reading!!!!!


	17. Open Your Eyes

With my racing heart,

And your captivating eyes,

I melt away with you,

Away into this bliss that only you can create,

And the thing is,

I want you,

And only you,

Don't you get it?

I love you,

And,

Even though it's hard to understand,

I just wanted you to know,

To know how I felt,

But,

The words,

Words that I wish I could say,

Words I've kept in my heart,

Words that you need to hear,

Can't be spoken,

Even when I spill them out,

In the simplest of ways,

You don't hear them,

You don't even listen,

But deep down,

A small spark of hope still lingers,

Lingers in my heart giving me warmth,

Making it harder and harder to forget you,

Harder to take that chance,

But it also makes it easier,

Easier to Love You

And at the same time,

I doubt that we can be anything more,

More than friends,

Friends with a secret,

A secret that is locked within the heart,

And only the other is able to open that locked door,

But,

You can't see the key that is standing right in front of you,

Staring into your drowning eyes,

Always smiling,

Just for you,

And it's all because,

Because of her,

And her darkness that drowns out my light,

Drawing you near to her,

And at the same time,

She's taunting me,

My tears I shed never faze you,

Because,

You don't notice,

You can't see it concealed inside my heart knocking at that door,

But,

It's hard when I know that you can see,

I just need you to do one thing for me,

All you have to do is,

Open Your Eyes


	18. Together

Your voice ringing in my ears,

And nothing else seems real to me,

It's merely a fantasy,

A play of my imagination,

The problems at school,

And,

Problems at home,

It's all the same,

But,

With you it's breathtaking,

All my problems fade leaving me in only your presence,

Thinking of hugging you,

The feel of your body against mine,

Your sent mixing with mine,

Wondering if you'd blush,

The way you do with other girls,

With her,

But I wouldn't have enough energy or the confidence to do that,

And,

Even if I was about to do it,

I would back out at the last second,

Scared,

Scared of getting hurt,

Scared of your internal beauty,

Yearning to be more confident and take that chance,

The chance in being together


	19. Kills Me

You haven't been on aim,

And I'm starting to get worried,

And all I want is to be next to you,

To hear you voice,

This vacation away from you,

Has been a living hell,

Just sitting here in this silence,

The silence that drowns out my loneliness,

But what's there to do?

I have no control over you,

And even if I did,

You wouldn't listen anyways,

So I keep myself active to keep my mind off of you,

But,

Even then you find a way to crawl into my thoughts,

And,

Raid my brain,

Filing me with thought of you,

Of us,

Of what we could be,

But,

I understand,

No matter how much I deny it,

You will never love me,

And,

Even through this light,

I feel alone in the darkness,

And it kills me


	20. Do You See Me?

Here I am,

Wondering if these feelings will ever fade,

Because,

They're killing me from the inside out,

So just tell me,

Why,

Why do you love her but not me?

What is it that makes her so different from me?

I've been by your side,

And have done everything in my power,

Just to keep you close,

For,

I know,

If I let you go,

You'd fly away,

Like the dove that you are,

You'd fly into her arms,

And forget about me completely,

So,

I'm standing on the edge,

Ready to fall,

Ready to let you go,

But,

Something about you holds me back,

Perhaps it's the reality that you do care about me,

Or perhaps it's the main idem that attracts me to you,

Your understanding,

I'm able to talk to you without someone having something to say about it,

I feel myself around you,

And when you by my side,

I can be someone I want to be,

And,

Not how others see me,

But I have to ask,

How do you see me?


End file.
